[ hummus recipe ]

A hummus recipe I submitted online -- not sure if it'll be published, so I thought I'd share it with you all!

Purple Fiddle Hummus

While on our honeymoon in eastern West Virginia, Joe and I frequented the "Purple Fiddle," an eclectic coffee shop and cafe with yummy wraps, soups, sandwiches, and the best hummus I've ever tasted! Once we visited for the second time, I just had to ask one of the employees what the secret was to this "it's got a kick to it" hummus: red cayenne pepper, not just black pepper, alongside cumin, sea salt and fresh cilantro. Yum! I could eat this hummus with anything from carrots to grilled pita wedges!

Ingredients

1 can garbanzo beans (15 oz.), with 1/4 c. liquid reserved

1/2 c. chopped fresh cilantro

1/4 tsp. sea salt

1 tsp. lemon or lime juice

1/2 tsp. red cayenne pepper

1 tsp. ground cumin

2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1/2 c. finely chopped onion

1 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil, or to taste

Directions

1. Drain garbanzo beans, reserving at least 1/4 c. liquid. In blender or food processor, pulse garbanzo beans, cilantro and onion. Pause to stir, add in the sea salt, cayenne pepper, garlic, and cumin and pulse again, adding reserved liquid to desired thickness. Splash with EVOO and lemon and lime juice and stir again. Garnish hummus with extra cilantro (and lime slices if you have them!) and serve with fresh veggies from the local market, wheat pita chips grilled in EVOO/olive oil butter and garlic powder, or blue corn chips. Hummus is low-fat, fiber-packed, inexpensive, and yummy choice for get-togethers!

[ looking forward... ]

Sweet things I'm looking forward to in the next month:

Walks to the lake...

Cooking some of the recipes I've been bookmarking on allrecipes.com...

A black and pink wedding filled with lots of friends, family and fun...

Honeymooning in WV: whitewater rafting, hiking and time together alas...

More to come, I'm sure.

With love, Jessie

Meryl and me at my friends'-hosted bridal shower at the Lighthouse on campus.

[ faith over feelings ]

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Oh, how easy it is to give quick-witted definitions of the ins and outs of our faith in the midst of a conversation, study or in class. But how much more difficult it is to walk and act in faith when life doesn't feel so good or the numbers we're inserting into our formulas aren't adding up to what we've been anticipating or expecting for our lives.

It's April 12, and other seniors and I are graduating in four weeks. Three weeks later, I'm marrying my best friend, biggest supporter and a man who wants to live life in response to the reality of who God is and the radical truth of His work in Jesus.

Other than that? I have no idea. Months and months were spent in preparation for a conference I was sure would yield a job - and with that, some stability for the remainder of the year before the long-awaited May 10. But today? No job, and a "Thanks, but..." callback from an on-campus interview near St. Louis a few weeks ago.

In the reality of bouts of uncertainty and questioning, however, God is dealing with me - and so graciously. Never before have I been so puzzled as to why A and B haven't equaled C, but the reality of God's gift to us through Jesus continually comes to mind, and you know - there couldn't have been anything less formulaic than a bloodied, risen Messiah for a fallen world.

Oh, that God would direct us toward this perspective: assuredness and confident hope in light of remembering what He has already accomplished for us through Jesus Christ. Oh - and that I would be humbled at the greatness of these truths and be able to respond to what is true of my identity in Christ. Everything else pales in comparison to this.

Friends, we can cling to truth in the messiness of times I've been describing as filled with tear-stained cheeks and clenched teeth. Why? Because if God has provided for our greater good through Jesus, there is nothing - nothing, nothing, nothing! - that is outside of His reach or beyond His power. And what must we give? Nothing but obedience - only accomplished in and through faith. Faith in what we cannot see - remembrance of God's poignant characteristic of faithfulness to His people throughout the course of history and in our own lives. Not for our comfort, but for our good. In the end, this is far better anyway.

What now? I have no clue! This is truly God's initiation, because in the perfect scenarios I've fashioned in my head, Joe and I know where we'll be, what we'll be doing and what the color of our living room rug will be.

Should I continue to pursue jobs at colleges? Should he and I begin looking for jobs in Columbus and dive into life there, especially with the Xenos treasure & many friends we've been able to re-connect with there lately?

More than ever God is calling me - calling Joe and me both- to pray and to listen to His guidance.

Frankly, I suck at this most of the time.

But God? He is good: the out-for-us, to-the-core faithful One whose love and power are unmatched. And these truths are persuading me more and more that even amidst rough days and weeks, faith is not a null - but a full and real - thing.

[ thoughts ]

I've been feeling pretty swamped lately with attempting to balance wedding planning, schoolwork, several jobs on campus, an internship, an upcoming job placement conference and allowing myself time to be spiritually fed and taken care of physically and emotionally.

Even listing those responsibilities brings to mind all those things that I have not yet accomplished, meetings I've missed (so not me!) and how it is that I will sleep more than five or so hours per night for the remainder of the semester.

Increasingly I am becoming more aware of my own limits -- limits for which I've had seriously foggy perspective until now -- just under three months before graduation. More and more I am realizing how much I need people around me -- not just to come alongside me and help me -- but to pray for me, helping me to ask God for serious strength. This isn't my 'default mode,' but oh, how the Lord is urging me to be honest about this need and receive from others during this time.

As I write this, my room is a mess. Laundry, cardstock samples for invitations, flyers I've neglected to hang up on my floor and a bridesmaid's dress hanging on my towel bar (forget the towel; it's hanging somewhere else!).

For those who know me well, this isn't a huge surprise, but really -- it's times like these that I am more conscious of how much we need God's grace in our lives. Honestly, as I pause to think beyond cover letters, pew bows and programming points, I'm struck that these times only serve as truth of my need for Jesus Christ not just now, but my depth of need all the time. Usually a glimpse of this reminder instantaneously causes me to have a good tear-fest.

My friend and spiritual mentor Michele spoke life to me last week as we were talking over Italian sodas at the Jitterbug on Thursday afternoon. She knows me well and speaks grace and truth to me, as I am. Michele, who's also getting married (so-o-o soon!), simply reminded me that this is going to be a crazy few months, but that I need to be okay with making some mistakes, asking for help and receiving hefty doses of grace extended from our loving Father. After talking with her, I rushed back to work desk in Finney Hall and tears began to run down my face.

Once I've begun to really think outside the happenings in my own life -- praise God that He brings me there -- I've been more able to see the need around me. There's something unique about being in a spot of need. If we depend on Jesus, it can allow for fresh eyes to see and respond to desperation around us, even in the midst of our own anxieties and worries. Jesus' words about the burdened and heavy laden (oh, how often I've used that passage in this blog -- but check out Matthew 11:25-30) speak universally to those who humble themselves before our God. Even in the past few weeks, it's been encouraging to know that I am not just identified as a student who's a little behind on things and a girl who misses her fiancé, but who -- in her need, in my need -- has been able to experience the grace of God through Jesus Christ in sometimes subtle and other times major ways. I'm thanking Him for those sweet moments with old and new friends, times of catching up and sharing life with one another -- times of transparency and urging each other on toward Jesus Christ.

I hadn't expected to write that much this evening, but hopefully it helps to give you a glimpse of where I am, as I am. This stuff is a little more raw than -- say -- two years ago, but it's a testament of what God's been doing and how He's reminding me of His character, faithfulness and activity in this world of ours.

Thanks for reading and letting me share this with you! Oh -- and look for my senior seminar materials sometime. Seriously.

[ let us love and sing and wonder ]

I haven't written in quite awhile.

I had begun a post a few weeks back chock-full of pictures from seminar. As I was adding photos onto the blog, however, I had a thought: wouldn't it be fun to reformat all my material from seminar into a long magazine-type feature with corresponding photos and text, complete with fun graphics and subheads and so on?

And then - poof! - the semester began.

Anyway, let's take a rain check on that. I really would like to compile that soon.

* * *

I made this graphic quickly on Microsoft Publisher.
It kind of looks like cheesy Sunday School material, but honestly, this is what I need.
Lord, teach me YOUR WAYS.

In the midst of what seems to be a dozen upcoming life changes, I've been struck by a lot of things but slow to write them down or process through them at length.

Here are a few thoughts.

Jessie Marshall in default mode is this one word: forgetful.

This appropriately characterizes smaller preoccupations in my life, but there's something much bigger at hand here. When I fail to walk in the power of God's Spirit, I am indifferent and ignorant to what He has actively done in my life.

I neglect to recall the foundation He has built in place of sinking sand. I revert into me-mode, where my own control seems sweet and prideful thoughts fill my mind and heart. You'd think it would take pliers to open my eyes to the reality of need around me, even in this place.

Okay, so it's not a pretty picture, but seriously, this is the state of forgetfulness. Forgetfulness of what the Lord has done in my life, where He's redeemed me and how He's calling me forward in faith in trust. This is the reality of it all.

Jesus' words in the Gospel According to John came to mind last night as I thought about how seriously I need resurrection-life that comes from connection with Jesus Christ: "Abide in Me and I in you...apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15:4,5)

I want to dig through this passage and some commentaries in the next few days, but these familiar words bring me a sort of precious but chilling stand-still.

Oh, that the Lord would call us to transparency not only with others around us, but with the One who knew us and formed us long before we walked the hills of college campuses and job fairs. The God who - by His very nature - cannot back down on His faithfulness to His people, even as we are quick to forget the depths of what He has accomplished for us in Jesus Christ.

Apart from Him we can do nothing. Nothing!

Oh, God - call me to remembrance.

* * *

More later.

[ senior seminar :: part I ]

I will post some of my senior seminar work this weekend per request! Until then, here's one of my edited pics from the Putnam Historical District in Zanesville:

Much love in Jesus,

Jessie

[ you ain't no friend of mine ]

Oh, that song - you know, Time, by Hootie and the Blowfish. I love that song and their 1994 album "Cracked Rear View." Lots of radio play in the mid-90's and that folk-rock sound of theirs.

Anyway, in the past few weeks -- even more than usual -- I've been living by this agenda of mine, consumed by an hour-by-hour schedule of work, school and so on. In the middle of class I make lists -- lists with dozens of minor bullet points that have gotten put on the back burner: call the laundry company -- residents haven't been able to use the washing machine all semester in our lounge. Fill out this or that form. Pay the library fine from freshman year. Get internship papers in.

Much of what we have to do is merited and needs to be accomplished efficiently and so on, but constantly I find my mind journeying at lightning-speed to these to-do's -- life things, for sure, but not life-giving things.

Why is it that I am content to be consumed by these ends -- these ends that too quickly become end-alls in my hours and days and weeks?

When I believe -- even for a moment -- that accomplishing tasks somehow will bring me a sense of satisfaction, I am not embracing truth and need to repent and turn to God for new strength and renewed desire to seek Him harder. As believers, we have to be choosing to fight for joy in Jesus Christ, in a Western culture where we barter with one another to be penciled into each other's lives, where time is big money, where we long for authentic, unhindered hours together but spend time behind LCD screens instead, where we overbook and wear ourselves so thin that the only option seems to be evenings of closed doors and crashing on the couch.

Oh, but this is me -- and I need to be changed.

As believers in America, we really have to cry out to God to change what comes so naturally for us -- measuring value by passing minutes, contentment with running so hard that we make ourselves sick.

For me, I could choose to not check my cell phone for the time twenty-five times during Linguistics or leave just enough time to grab-and-go for lunch before hitting the Quad for the day. I could wake up earlier so that evenings could free up for time with friends or I could turn off my laptop so that I'm not writing dozens of e-mails minutes before I hit the sack.

All of those goals seem reachable, but you know what? I need real heart-change that can only be initiated by our Lord. In humility, I must plead for real rest in Him. In honesty, I must invite other believers alongside me to be intentional about fighting for joy.

There's this great resource through a Campus Crusade for Christ website that explores why aligning ourselves with God's purposes on a daily basis is so vital. Here's a quote from Jean Fleming's Food for the Soul:

A Time to Refocus

Quiet time (a.k.a. prayer, reading the Bible, trusting the Spirit, hearing from God) can keep you from frittering your life away on the extraneous, the peripheral. In a culture that exalts and feeds busyness, quiet time can refocus your attention daily on what really matters. God will remind you that your relationship with Him is supreme; every thing else must be subordinate to that relationship. When you pause in God’s presence, the fog clears and values sharpen. You realign yourself with the commitments you’ve made to God and others. The important things emerge, and the secondary things recede one again. The busier you are, the more desperately you need the pause that refreshes.

I can see the reality of this in my own life. If I am not depending on Jesus and interceding in prayer, my efforts -- in classwork, friendships, ministry and so on -- can end up being tasks instead of big-time joys. In order to fully understand His plan and even what really is important, I have to be WITH Him! Isn't it funny that what makes the most sense is the hardest discipline to develop?

Really, it should be simple.

Jesus says, "Come to Me," so I should go.

It's that time when words here must be reality.