[ festivities! ]

A random thought: our summer project group has been so goofy lately! I love it.

Tonight we went downtown to West Bay and hung out for awhile, played some volleyball, constructed a sand recliner for our fireworks-viewing, and around 10 p.m. or so watched the fireworks over the bay! They weren't awe-striking, but various bouts of patriotic singing and excited "oohs" and "ahhs" made for a memorable evening. On the two-mile -- but half-hour! -- drive home, our car (Jim, Eric, Kelly and I) talked about our favorite movies, which just felt like a conversation you'd have with old friends or something like that. Really refreshing and needed.

I drank a cup of coffee tonight -- the first cup I've had in maybe three or four months!

I forgot how amazing coffee tastes.

Here's the thing, too: it definitely was 7-Eleven coffee -- typical convenience store coffee in a 16-oz. Styrofoam cup!

Ah, but it was good!

I'm guessing I won't drink a ton of coffee the rest of the summer, but it really does something for a pick-me-up!

Okay, enough about that.

The staff leave this Saturday evening during our mid-project banquet. Insane! Already it's beginning to feel like project is being turned over to us, with new roles posted today and tons of meetings for our ministry teams and leaders. This is an exciting time -- trusting God to give us big-picture vision for project and for next week's day-by-day plans to fall into place quickly. We're busy here, with working four or five days a week at pretty intense jobs and nightly meetings, training and outreaches. Personally, it's been cool to see how the Lord is working in my smaller, moment-by-moment decisions in terms of perspective and priorities. Last week I turned down a few extra opportunities to go into work and last night I slept for nearly twelve hours! This doesn't happen often, for sure. Kelly and I were talking about it today during discipleship, though, and it was encouraging to hear from her that it was probably the way that God could be most glorified in my morning -- not because I was inactive, but because it gave me life for the rest of the afternoon and evening, where I needed to be "on." I think I mentioned this in my last entry, but I really am beginning to realize more and more, especially here on project, that I am only "one girl" -- one who has the same 24-hour days as everyone else and who can no longer suffice on three hours of sleep per night!

Praise God that we are only being called to that which will bring Him the most glory -- which, I'm beginning to understand, doesn't mean running myself so thin that I forget to treasure Jesus above all else rather than people, to-do lists or the world I've often seem to conjure up on my own.

In the last few days when I've read the Word and come across Jesus' declaration of "Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matt. 11:28)," I am often brought to this seemingly obvious recognition that He means rest. Not just a deep breath, but rest, because our flesh can only do so much before we just have to cry out in dependency upon Him. To "take [His] yoke upon [us], and learn from [Him]," for in Him we can find "rest for our souls" (Matt. 11:29).

I've found that God brings me to the point of need not so that I wallow in self-pity -- though my mind and heart will go there without Him -- but so that I will understand in that moment not just my urgent need for Him right then and there, but my urgent need for Him all the time. Really, I should seek to be brought to that type of dependency on a daily basis, embracing that for what it's worth: making His name famous.

Ah, what it will mean for Jesus to be moving in our lives and teaching us a seriously-huge, present-tense sort of promise: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor. 12:9)

My heart aches for more of this -- more dependency on my Maker -- as I increasingly realize how messy and ill-equipped I am on my own terms, and how when I bring nothing to the table, He has everything to offer. Sending me -- sending all of us -- out in a messy, ill-equipped world with the gospel message of redemption and serious hope.

Love you all.

Jessie