[ growing up... ]

A few friends and I went out later this evening for one of my best friend's birthdays, and we were talking some about how it feels like a lot of us are growing up -- but in that, feeling like we really don't always 'have it together,' with all of our plans and dreams and hopes carefully blueprinted and so on.

I've been struck by that so much this semester -- that I am still young and inexperienced and have a lot to learn, but that Jesus is faithfully walking alongside me.

He is here -- pushing us forward in this life of ours, toward our Father who loves us and fights for us and humbles us.

He's teaching me through His Spirit -- through loved ones and hard things I'm learning.

He's interceeding for me, molding me to become more giving, more teachable, more gentle. More fully dependent on His grace alone.

This 'not having it all together' business is exciting -- but scary too, to be honest.

There's no more...
pieced-together and mounted puzzles,

no confidence in my flesh alone,

no conjuring up I'm okay(s)...

no room to rely on anything lifeless -- dead -- buried.

Instead there's...
His Word: bearing hope -- alive -- resurrected.

promises,

strength,

restoration,

real community...

and

the Cross.

I don't know why I choose to live for anything less than this.

-Jessie