[ for it is in giving that we receive ]

Like my friend Matt, also a blogger and a FTE Fellow, I feel like I could write for hours about the conference we just attended in Austin, Texas.

I haven't been challenged to that extent in a long time -- to really be able to articulate and think about faith in new ways, to dialogue with other Christians in an ecumenical setting and to be stretched -- big-time.

I had the opportunity to journal quite a bit while we were in Austin. Being able to process multiple times each day by journaling was helpful, and really allowed for honesty about how God was moving during that time. Writing by hand is something that I need to do daily, I'm beginning to discover. Blogging is helpful, but there is a certain transparency that comes with not being able to rely on the <-Backspace button.

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The Holy Spirit was so evident in the community of 150 or so people at the conference, and with that power came beauty. Lots of beauty. I'll share just a few things for now.

• Yesterday evening we had a Taizé/Prayers Around the Cross worship service, which was one of the most amazing things I've experienced. Foot-washing, anointing and prayer stations were all available -- all practices that I haven't encountered in awhile. There was a certain near-physical tangibility of God in that chapel. I've been reading about intercessory prayer in Paul's letters and in The Fuel and the Flame, and last night during a time of anointing and prayer at the altar, that truth became very real. Powerful.

• Nathan, who went along with our group to Austin City Church on Friday (our emerging church workshop), sat with a few of us undergrads yesterday at lunch. At an earlier session, he had told the group that he is currently serving his congregation as outreach director, describing his congregation as "...the lonely man at the local bar, the mentally disabled woman and the amputee-veteran." There were a few 'missing links' to his story that I was wondering about, so I just sort of asked, "How'd you get from that to this?" He went on to tell one of the most --if not the most-- honest, humble stories of God's redemption (literally a reaching-down-and-moving redemption) I've ever heard. His story seemed like it was out of a Donald Miller book, really. But that's not the point, so I'll just move on to something he said that had our whole table in a sort of silent awe:
  

"I think of it as a river. We're all building boats, really, and some of ours are bigger than others. My brother has a rather large boat built, actually. And the size of my boat was approaching that, too. We're attempting to head upstream, though, and the waves are crashing into our vessels. Well, the storms came and my boat was completely destroyed. Everything -- gone. Me -- knocked out of the boat I worked so diligently to craft on my own. But I'm learning that our movement upstream isn't what God intended. I'm now moving downstream, just me in the water. I'm still struggling to hang on -- my head is just above the water. But you know what? I'm still breathing. God's moving me."

• Yesterday morning we had 3 1/2 hours of silence and time with God. Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly) quite a few things that are deemed as 'counterproductive' tend to bear fruit. It was good. We need to practice this more often.

There's just so much to say about these past five days -- well, not really about 'them,' but about God and community and brokenness and transparency...wow.

You know, I'm just excited about Him and about ministry, and am really desiring genuine whole-life worship.

His grace is beyond every rational or imaginative thought I could ever conjure up on my own -- His working in our tainted world to bring His peace is just so big. (Isn't the English language sort of frustrating sometimes when we see God in a new way? I mean, thank goodness we're not serving an exclusively 'Western God,' because our words aren't adequate. And not just because they're English, but because He's that much beyond the systems, measurements, time and space of this world.)

Yet...He's entered our world in a sort of beautiful "intersection of heaven and earth." We can now dig deep in faith. That is still very new and surreal to me.

Let us persist in seeking the face of Jesus Christ.

More to come.

-Jessie